An open letter to the Slap-Chop guy.
Although I admire your enthusiasm and your flare for descriptive diction, I'm afraid that I do not need your slap-chop to stop having a boring life. I have a comedian for a husband, two children who are even more amusing than he, and I also have this:
PS - I was "slap chopping" long before you were even mopping up fake cola spills on carpet. Pampered Chef did it first and it was simply called, The Food Chopper. That is all.